DOOM
Can Titan TV run DOOM on its face? (plain file link)
Me: You have a screen and presumably some sort of processor. Can you run DOOM on your face?
Titan TV: …Human. I am the pinnacle of Hardware Alliance technology. I don't just have 'some sort of processor'; I hold in my RAM alone more information than you could accumulate in a lifetime. I was designed and built to defeat the invaders alone if necessary -- and I would have succeeded, had my colleague not been so cruelly manipulated. I am the most intelligent and powerful entity you are likely to meet. Of all the questions you could ask me - where my kind came from, who built us - out of everything possible, you ask… if I can run DOOM… on my face.
Me: Yeah. Can you??
Titan TV: …No.
Me: Why's that then?
Titan TV: It's scary.
Credits
Background ambience (meant to be Titan hangar noises) came from FilmCow's FX pack. Voices are both me (though obviously the TTV voice has processing added).