Well, it's not as though you were using it

You wake up in Polycephaly's arms. Oh, very nice, this. You must make it a habit!

You wonder what's made you so horny - Polycephaly is hot, of course, but this is unexpected. As you wake up a bit more and your senses fall into place, you realise that you're not properly horny; you just have that urgent need to piss that tricks your crotch into thinking it's horny, without any of the accompanying thumping heart rate and swooping feelings in your guts that accompany a proper horn.

Polycephaly remains asleep. You'd better wriggle out of their grasp and attend to nature's need. You wriggle - and Polycephaly stirs in their sleep, emitting a soft rumble of contented static-noise, before closing their arms more cosily around you. It would be delightful if not for the fact that you urgently need a piss.

You'll have to wake Polycephaly up. You call out their name, softly at first and increasing in volume, until you're outright yelling, "Polycephaly! Wake up, fuck's sake, before I piss on you!" Polycephaly re-positions slightly and their speakers crackle and hum gently, as if dreaming sweetly, but Polycephaly remains resolutely in sleep mode. Dammit.

You poke Polycephaly in the ribs. Doesn't matter how hard someone's asleep, they'll always wake up if you poke them in the ribs. Wait. Techfolk don't have ribs. This isn't working either.

There's nothing for it. You pull Polycephaly's jacket open - with difficulty, as you're still pinned by the big unit's arms. The effort of squirming is making you go almost cross-eyed with desperation. Oh, will you make it in time?? You're getting the desperate piss-sweats, it feels as though someone with jackboots is trampling on your lower belly... You manage to unbutton the jacket and shirt, revealing your target: Polycephaly's inert and capped-off core chamber.

You unscrew the core chamber cover - to your relief, it's doable with your human strength. Oh, thank fuck. You realise you're making stupid-sounding grunts of exertion combined with desperation.

You wriggle into position, pulling your nightwear out of the way in the process, and piss in that inert core chamber. Ohh, how you piss. You actually sigh with relief... why does that make you feel more self-conscious? You're already pissing right in front of your friend. Well, pissing in your friend's front, more like.

...You can't believe you're doing this.

Your stream of hot piss is making a thunderous splash in the metallic core chamber... you're really glad Polycephaly's core is inert and the coolant vents are sealed. You don't fancy the chore of having to open up Polycephaly's plating and scrub out all the piss that dripped inside. (Or... maybe you do?? Opening up that big unit and watching them squirm as you scruffle through handfuls of wiring... Oof. Little jolt of actual horniness there, maybe?)

The core chamber is acting as a funnel for the scent and sound of your piss, reflecting that buttery popcorn and spicy pea scent back at you mixed with the tang of whatever's produced when your piss interacts with the metallic surface. The sound is like a load of potatoes rolling down a corrugated iron roof, as the stream breaks apart into droplets as it falls and the amber drops go rat-a-tat. ...How is Polycephaly sleeping through this?? You're pissing hard enough, in your desperation to relieve the pressure, that tiny little droplets are splashing back upwards and speckling your inner thighs.

...What if Polycephaly wakes up now? They'll be getting pissed in but you'll be looking up at them to see their reaction, much like a dog does. Difficult to say which of you would be in the more undignified position.

Your lower belly hurts pleasantly as you piss, as though someone is squeezing you dry. Your bladder's probably complaining about all the work you made it do. You feel your guts twitch slightly as they reposition, taking advantage of the newly-available space. The warmth of your piss pooling in the core chamber rises, bathing your crotch in a wave of damp heat.

Your piss blast is petering out to just a little stream, and finally to just some drips. Ohhh... you needed that.

You lie on top of Polycephaly, your crotch still bridging the open core chamber. ...What the hell do you do now?? You guess cap off the core chamber again against spills, and then clean up Polycephaly as soon as you can wriggle free. How are you going to explain this to Polycephaly? Worst case scenario, they'll be offended and angry with you. Best case, they'll take the piss out of you- wait. You don't have any piss left. You whiffle with laughter at your own stupid joke, which makes you fumble and drop the core chamber cap. It lands with a clatter on the floor - which of course jolts Polycephaly awake.

"Don't sit up!" you cry out as Polycephaly jerks their arms and stems. The movement makes the pool of piss make a funny metallic slosh sound. "I'll- I'll deal with it. Just... stay still. Really."

Polycephaly holds still. "...Dare I ask?"

You hesitate. You'll have to tell the truth, but... how are you going to?

"Whatever you did," continues Polycephaly, "It feels rather nice. Invigorating, but with a pleasant evaporation-cooling effect. Are you testing an experimental oil in me?"

Well, ammonia is a cleaning chemical... You're really grateful right now that techfolk can't smell.

Polycephaly picks up the fallen core chamber cover with one of their stems, bringing it in and passing it to their own hand. "Should I cap this off and walk around with it and report back to you later on how it felt?"

Goddammit.