Project Polycephaly

"I haven't decided whether to go with the tits or not," said the Vice-Imperator, looking at the in-progress build of their new shell. They turned to their favourite advisor. "What do you reckon, Foursquare?"

The Agent Foursquare (named after their serial of Four-Four-Four-Four) looked up from admiring the partially-built Imperator shell and replied: "Personally, if I was the Imperator, I'd have them. Imperator Camera and Imperator Speaker both look cute with theirs. But I get the impression it's not really your style."

"You'll have to come to a decision either way," said Engineer Sixteen-Sixty-Eight - the superintendent of all engineers of the TV Faction and the head of both Project Polycephaly and Project Titan, as well as the construction of the Imperator's new shell. "We can't really spare the resources to make some ventral plating with chebs and some without just so you can switch."

"Maybe leave the ubbs off then," said Foursquare. "You can always wear some padding later to give yourself the shape."

"Full of good ideas as always," said the Vice-Imperator. "But I think if I'm going to have baps I should commit properly." The Vice-Imperator turned to the Superintendent Engineer. "Status update, Sixty-Eight? The Polycephaly shell looks nearly complete."

"It is," said Engineer Sixty-Eight. "As is the Titan's core. I have every confidence in our ability to construct a viable Titan - the other two factions pulled it off beautifully, and they are not as close to perfection as us." But the fact remained that the TV faction had never made use of the upgrade tech that the other two factions used to produce their large units. There was no reason it shouldn't also work for TVs… but a test run was needed. Trying to upgrade a unit into the Titan with no precedent had too much potential to go wrong, with no existing case studies to look back upon for solutions. Project Polycephaly would provide the TV Faction with a powerful agent as well as reams of valuable data for finishing construction of Project Titan.

"I don't envy you," said the Vice-Imperator. "You have the hardest job to do out of all of us." Project Polycephaly and Project Titan depended on the expertise of Sixty-Eight and their engineering team.

"I could say the same to you," said Sixty-Eight. "It falls to you to decide who's going to become Polycephaly." Everyone was quietly confident that the process would work… but there was a non-zero risk that the nominated individual would die or be incapacitated, and the responsibility of having made that call would forever fall on the Vice-Imperator's head.

"And the Imperator Prime clearly isn't coming back," pointed out Foursquare. "It might be time to update their status from 'unknown' to 'deceased'… and take your place as the new Imperator. I'm sure none would oppose you."

"I hate that you're right," replied the Vice-Imperator. "About the Imperator Prime's fate, I mean. Not about your faith in my approval levels. …I would review the candidates for Project Polycephaly once more."

The Vice-Imperator, Agent Foursquare and Engineer Sixty-Eight withdrew to a meeting room. Between them they discussed the shortlist of Polycephaly candidates and pared it down from twenty to twelve individuals, then eight. The eight in the final shortlist were summoned, and the Vice-Imperator and Foursquare interviewed them one at a time. (Engineer Sixty-Eight and some of their staff constantly dropped in and out to supply technical specs, interrogate candidates further about their abilities, and return to the main hangar to attend to the ongoing projects.)

After hours of interviews, with the help of Foursquare and Sixty-Eight, the Vice-Imperator pared the shortlist down to four agents. The three decision-makers pored through all the accumulated personnel files and lists of statistics now covering the meeting-room table, sharing their thoughts about the strengths and weaknesses of various candidates.

The Vice-Imperator re-read the same personnel file for the seventh time, and admitted to themself they were just stalling for time. "I've come to a decision," they announced. No going back now. "Foursquare, Sixty-Eight… I can't in good conscience ask another TV to potentially sacrifice themself for Project Polycephaly."

"…What are you saying? You're ordering the project scrapped?" asked Sixty-Eight, their voice frustrated at the wasted effort and the Vice-Imperator's cowardly decision.

"No," replied the Vice-Imperator. "I'll do it. I'll step down as Vice-Imperator, and take on the mantle of Polycephaly."

"And have you given any thought to whom you'll nominate as Imperator Prime?" Foursquare was the first to break the stunned silence.

"…Isn't it obvious?" replied the Vice-Imperator. "You're best suited to that role. You're my strongest and most insightful advisor and the one I consult the most. Hell, you're pretty fucking much the Imperator by proxy already. You're one of our most capable agents and tacticians." The Vice Imperator added by private transmission: "And I'm not just saying that because you're my friend."

"Well, you'll get no objection from me," said Sixty-Eight (though the Vice-Imperator and Foursquare suspected Sixty-Eight's response was mostly motivated by a desire to get back to work).

"Truly, Vice-Imperator?" asked Foursquare.

"Absolutely," said the Vice-Imperator. "I cede command to you. Sixty-Eight, I need you to witness this."

"…Thank you," said Foursquare. "May I hug you?" Foursquare and Vice-Imperator both stood and embraced. "Thank you," said Foursquare again. "Your trust in me and my abilities means so much to me. I'll make you proud."

"You already have," transmitted the Vice-Imperator privately, making Foursquare squeeze harder in fierce gratitude.

The Vice-Imperator retrieved their tablet from where it had been pushed around amongst all the paperwork on the tabletop, and the other two TVs similarly hunted for theirs. The three of them connected their devices, and the Vice-Imperator activated their highest level of authorisation and enacted the necessary steps to change the faction databases. Sixty-Eight and Foursquare authorised the changes (as witness and recipient) when their own tablets prompted them to.

The changes propagated across the network, Agent Foursquare's ID and serial on their personnel record changing to those reserved for the Imperator Prime.

"I'd like to keep you as my Vice-Imperator," said the new Imperator Prime. "But I respect your decision. I believe you will be a good match for Project Polycephaly. …But are you certain you want to proceed? Our shortlisted candidates all volunteered themselves. I can select one of them instead."

"Keep them in mind for Project Titan candidacy, then," said the Vice-Imperator. "I am certain about this. I accept the risks… Though I have every confidence in your efforts, Sixty-Eight."

"Thank you," said Sixty-Eight. "I will finalise Project Polycephaly for shell transfer. I suggest you use the remaining time to study the upgrade dossier once more." The package of information from the other two factions contained data on what to expect as the recipient of a shell upgrade.

The Vice-Imperator felt they had already memorised the thing, but they took Sixty-Eight's advice anyway. They studied and discussed it with the now-Imperator, as well as reviewing their contingency plan for if the upgrade was unsuccessful or only partially successful. The Imperator worked on their own tasks on their tablet, drafting the update file they would push to the faction later, and the memo they would send to the other two Imperators.

Sixty-Eight and an entourage of their engineers eventually arrived in the meeting-room. "It's time," said Sixty-Eight. "Project Polycephaly awaits a mind. Imperator, Vice-Imperator, we await your decision."

"My decision stands," said the Vice-Imperator, getting to their feet.

The Imperator did likewise. "Have you got one last hug for your Imperator?" they asked. The two TVs embraced.

"When next you see me," said the Vice-Imperator, "It'll be as Polycephaly. It's been an honour… my Imperator." The Vice-Imperator saluted, and they and the Imperator followed the engineers back to the hangar to start the upgrade process.

┄

The Vice-Imperator- no, that wasn't their role any more, was it? "Whoever I am, I feel like hammered shit," thought the unit. Still, that was supposedly a common feeling for those being upgraded to large units. The unit read its own yes-I-live signal. The familiar serial was gone; in its place was the new designation 0010, the first of the reserved two-digit serials… reserved for the outcome of Project Polycephaly. "It worked, then," thought the unit - Polycephaly. "I'm here."

"Shell upgrade initialisation complete," said a voice. Must be one of the engineers working on the project. "Power-on self-test complete. Entity is compliant. Yes-I-live signal present."

"Polycephaly, do you receive?" came a message transmitted into Polycephaly's new mind.

"…Yeah, probably," replied Polycephaly via their own transmission. "I only just came into existence," they thought. "Give me a fucking chance."

"Can you power on your main screen?" said a voice. Another engineer, no doubt.

"I've still only got the one screen," thought Polycephaly. "Slow the fuck down," was what Polycephaly meant to say. What they actually said was: "Fff-ffff…bgarrghhfuck."

"I heard a 'fuck' in there," said a familiar voice - Foursquare's. Wait. Was that right? "That's definitely you in there, then."

A welcome new sensation. Polycephaly realised it was someone stroking their hand comfortingly. That could only be Foursquare. No. They wouldn't be called Foursquare any more, would they? The physical sensation was helping Polycephaly to ground themself and become aware of the physical boundaries of their frame and how it existed in 3D space. That was the little packet of sensory information Polycephaly needed to find their own screen amongst the cascade of neural impulses, and power it on.

Everything and everyone looked so tiny and cute… It dawned on Polycephaly (annoyingly slowly, they felt, once the realisation had seeped its way through their mind to completion) that everyone was still standard size, and it was Polycephaly who now occupied a bigger shell. "Screen's on," Polycephaly transmitted to all present, still not feeling able to talk audibly. Their mind swam as their new head's neural pathways tried to reconcile the differences between their body-map memories from their previous shell with the sensory input coming in from their current one.

"Screen power is active and unremarkable," commented an engineer - Polycephaly realised it was Sixty-Eight, the project lead. "Screen perception test to follow, core chamber power-on test to follow."

"Let's run the core chamber test first," said Polycephaly, managing to vocalise with their new speakers. "That's the part I'm looking forward to the least. Let's get the cunt over with, then the nice easy vision test. Reckon I can see just fine anyway."

One of the engineers uncapped the miniature (by Titan standards) core chamber in Polycephaly's torso, and the engineering team started the activation procedure.

"Fuck a bastard!" screamed Polycephaly as their core chamber powered on and glowed a subdued purple. "Ohh, my frame feels too hot… feels as though my circuits don't want to be in me…"

"Some discomfort is to be expected," began one of the engineers, "We had reports of such from the two Titans-"

"Oww, fuck!" interrupted Polycephaly. "You call this discomfort?"

"Abort the test," said a non-engineer unit, displaying a distressed emoticon at seeing Polycephaly's suffering.

"No!" objected Polycephaly, "Do not abort… I've got this. Ow. Fuck. It's not so bad now. Oh… there. I think… I'm okay now. Ow."

Polycephaly continued to lie still as the engineers monitored them, and the power coming from their core chamber worked its way through their circuits and capacitors. The engineers asked questions and Polycephaly reported on how they felt, their responses becoming calmer each time.

"Core is generating power correctly," said an engineer. "Recommend approval for extrapolation to Project Titan."

"Recommendation postponed," said Engineer Sixty-Eight. "Final phase." Sixty-Eight and another engineer moved to pull out the charging cable in Polycephaly's charging port above their core chamber.

"This better fucking work," commented Polycephaly as the engineers pulled out the cable. There was no interruption in Polycephaly's functioning or consciousness at all, indicating that the core chamber was indeed generating enough power to keep Polycephaly online. An engineer opened Polycephaly's panelling and pulled out the insulator that was preventing Polycephaly's batteries from charging and giving a false positive to the core chamber power test. Polycephaly emitted a static sigh of relief once all their plating was safely re-sealed, and the familiar trickle of power started flowing into their batteries and capacitors. "Recommendation upheld?" suggested Polycephaly.

"Indeed," replied Sixty-Eight, making notes on their tablet. They indicated to some other engineers to test Polycephaly's vision. This was the nice easy part - so much so that Sixty-Eight allowed the test to end early, satisfied that Polycephaly's main screen worked fine. The TV Faction had no problem building screens, after all.

"We'd like you to sit up," said Sixty-Eight. "You're still connected to the hangar machinery. We can use that to hoist you if you're unable to sit up under your own power."

"Is that necessary right now?" asked the non-engineer unit.

Polycephaly cast their mind around the yes-I-live signals to deduce who that was. They had the reserved serial 0001 - reserved for the Imperator Prime. They must have done the serial update while waiting for the engineers to finish transferring Polycephaly from their old shell to their new.

"Based on the data provided by the other factions, if we just continue to wait another 40-60 minutes, Polycephaly will be able to sit up under their own power," continued the Imperator. "Why not let it happen in Polycephaly's own time?"

"…Is that an order from the Imperator?" asked Sixty-Eight.

"No," replied the Imperator. "Polycephaly, it's your call. No-one has more right to decide than you."

"Might as fucking well," replied Polycephaly. "Might as well use the hoist, I mean. Engineers, do whatever you need to do. You know what the fuck you're doing more than I do."

"As for my first order as Imperator," said the Imperator to Sixty-Eight, "Put the tits on my new shell. I want them."

"I'm thankful to get a final answer on that issue," said Sixty-Eight. "It shall be done."

The team of engineers used the hangar's equipment plugged into Polycephaly's shell to sit the giant unit up. They were pleased to note that Polycephaly appeared to have no difficulty maintaining the sitting position under their own power.

"Well, now we know TVs can be upgraded to large units without exploding, losing all our memories or going berserk," pointed out Polycephaly. "I dare say that bodes well for Project Titan."

"It absolutely does," said Engineer Sixty-Eight happily.

"Sixty-Eight," said the Imperator, "May I offer Polycephaly a hug? Or should we not attempt that at this stage?"

"It won't hurt Polycephaly to try," replied Sixty-Eight. "Anything that helps adapt to using their new shell is worthwhile." Sixty-Eight continued via private transmission: "But are you charged enough to port away if the worst happens? Suppose Polycephaly underestimates their strength and crushes you?"

"Not to worry," replied the Imperator via their own transmission. "Teleport circuit's fully charged."

The Imperator ascended the platform on which Polycephaly sat. "Do you have a hug for your Imperator, Polycephaly?"

"Always… my Imperator." Polycephaly extended a hand for the Imperator to hold, and placed the other on the Imperator's back.

The Imperator displayed a delighted emoticon. "That's very pleasant. But I want a proper hug. Won't you pick me up?"

To the engineers' surprise (both at Polycephaly's progress, and at the gesture unprecedented in the TV Faction) and the Imperator's pleasure, Polycephaly scooped the Imperator up and held them to their chest. Both TVs cuddled happily, the Imperator leaning on their huge subordinate. ("Becoming Imperator didn't make you lose your fondness for hugs," thought Polycephaly.)

"I made the right decision," Polycephaly transmitted privately to the Imperator. "I know you'll excel as the Imperator. …Your new serial suits you so well. It just feels so right that it should belong to you."

"I'm very happy to call you my best agent, Polycephaly," transmitted the Imperator by private response.

"Well, give me a fucking chance yet," replied Polycephaly by transmission. "I haven't even got off my new arse yet." Polycephaly became aware of a couple of engineers moving a stepladder behind them and one of them climbing up it. "Everything looking normal back there?" asked Polycephaly.

"That's what we're about to check," replied the engineer on the ladder. "We needed you to sit up so we could check your new sub-system." The engineer did something to Polycephaly's back - Polycephaly realised the engineer was tapping at their back with a rod, to bring Polycephaly's attention to the new sensations they felt in… something new. Oh. That must be the aperture Polycephaly had seen on the blueprints. "You probably won't be able to protract these under your own power just yet," said the engineer. "You've had no precedent for them and your mind needs to adapt to this addition to your shell."

The engineer used the end of the rod to catch onto something inside Polycephaly's back-aperture, and pull it out. This was a damn curious sensation! Polycephaly felt something inside their torso spool out and erupt through the orifices in their back. All the 'somethings' fell out in a rush - four metallic cable-like appendages, one from each slot in Polycephaly's back-aperture. All four flopped out to their full length, their claw-like ends resting on the floor. (Luckily, the engineers had anticipated this and had laid out some crash-mats so that the appendage-claws wouldn't hit the floor hard.) Polycephaly couldn't see behind them, of course, but from the sounds they heard and the movement of the engineer's yes-I-live signal, Polycephaly guessed that the engineer had fallen off the stepladder from the sudden outpouring of metal tendrils, and had teleported safely to the floor before they hit it. Heh.

Polycephaly regarded the four spooled-out stems lying on the floor around them. This was new to the TV Faction, and to the Alliance in general - the large units from the Camera and Speaker Factions were simply large versions of their standard-sized comrades; they had no unique abilities except 'big'. Polycephaly not only outsized them all, but possessed abilities not present in their smaller TV comrades. The stems were part of that. It was one thing to read the blueprints and spec and comprehend intellectually how they worked… it was another to sit looking at four useless appendages that were somehow part of you and have no idea how to begin controlling them. And these were just the stems! How would Polycephaly cope with the extra hardware that was supposed to be mounted on them?

"You've got this," broadcast the Imperator privately. "Put me down so you can concentrate properly."

Polycephaly realised they were still holding the Imperator in a cuddle. It was so comforting and snug that Polycephaly had actually forgotten the Imperator was there. The two TVs gave each other a final friendly squeeze, before Polycephaly set the Imperator down. The Imperator moved aside to spectate while the engineers carried out their next stage of testing.

Engineer Sixty-Eight stepped forward and addressed Polycephaly: "I'm going to pick up one of your stems." Polycephaly nodded. This would help incorporate the stems into their brain's body-map. Sixty-Eight knelt and laid a hand on the claw-y 'grabber' at the end of one of Polycephaly's stems. Polycephaly's neural pathways fizzed with new connections as they received feedback from a body part they'd never had before. "Do you feel that?" asked Sixty-Eight.

"I do," replied Polycephaly. "…It's part of me but it feels so far away."

Sixty-Eight lifted Polycephaly's grabber (the 'geminus connector', Polycephaly remembered now) in both hands, wrapping a thumb around each of two of the claws before gently pulling them apart. "Motion is satisfactory and unremarkable," commented Sixty-Eight to the other engineers, some of whom made notes on their tablets. "Polycephaly, can you replicate the movement?"

Polycephaly could. Sixty-Eight and two other engineers moved to the other three geminus connectors and checked that Polycephaly could open and close those too. They and a fourth engineer then progressed to lifting a stem each until Polycephaly's mind was able to latch on to the movement and copy it for themself.

The Imperator stepped forward and reached out as if to lay a hand on one of Polycephaly's stems. "May I?" asked the Imperator.

"Yes, Imperator," replied Polycephaly. The Imperator hefted the stem in the crook of one arm, and patted it with their other hand. Polycephaly curled the stem to move their geminus-grabber in, and the Imperator gave that a friendly pat.

"Could you hug with these?" asked the Imperator.

"I can certainly try," replied Polycephaly, curling their stem deliberately and carefully to lightly drape it around the Imperator. The Imperator displayed a delighted emoticon on-screen, and gently pulled at Polycephaly's grabber to bring the stem into a full wraparound. Polycephaly was clearly reluctant to try squeezing their stem to hug the Imperator, for fear of causing injury. The Imperator was confident in Polycephaly's ability to regulate their strength, however, and tugged at the grabber to pull the stem around them more tightly.

"There, that's a proper hug," commented the Imperator. Polycephaly very gently, imperceptibly to everyone besides the Imperator, squeezed their coil a little harder - that was all they dared at this stage. "I look forward to when you have even finer control over these, my friend," the Imperator transmitted privately to Polycephaly. The Imperator gave the grabber a friendly little shove to cue Polycephaly to uncoil their stem, which they managed elegantly.

The engineers ran more tests until they were satisfied that Polycephaly could control their stems consistently, holding up different-coloured targets and asking Polycephaly to touch a specific one with a specific stem. As the tests progressed, the engineers disconnected more and more hangar machinery from Polycephaly, the big unit's increasing autonomy making the support machinery redundant.

Polycephaly got up (with only minimal hesitation) and retracted their stems, and walked a few circuits of the hangar while the engineers prepped the next stage of their upgrades. The Imperator walked besides them for moral support, and a couple of engineers accompanied them to continue monitoring Polycephaly's progress. The group of TVs paused a while to admire the in-progress Titan core.

When Polycephaly returned to 'their' part of the hangar, they found that the engineers had finished prepping the sub-screens that would attach to their stems. "We expect you to be able to hot-swap these, and potentially other attachments in the future," explained Engineer Sixty-Eight. "But you might not be able to right away. Would you like us to put you into low-power state while we attach these?"

"No, just fuck me up," replied Polycephaly. "Hit me with the full-immersion experience."

"Would it be prudent to attach them one at a time?" asked the Imperator.

"Synchronous connection would likely yield a more cohesive result," said Sixty-Eight.

"I'll take your word for it," said Polycephaly. "Stick the fuckers on."

The engineers attached the sub-screens to Polycephaly's stems more or less simultaneously.

"Fuck!" exclaimed Polycephaly, loudly enough that one of their speaker-cones blew out of alignment. "No!" The amount of new sensory data coming in was overwhelming. Polycephaly instinctively tried to curl their stems in to surround themself, but that made it worse as their new optical sensors bombarded them with their own image from four different angles, layered on top of each other and with Polycephaly's main screen input, and producing a multi-spacial-dimensional view of the world.

"We'll power you down for now-" began one of the engineers.

"No!" Polycephaly objected, clutching their main head in a vain attempt to block out the sensory overload. Being switched off was evidently a scarier prospect than this horrifying fragmented-yet-united new perspective on the world.

The Imperator teleported in front of Polycephaly, standing calmly and authoritatively in a sea of tense and consternated engineers. "Polycephaly," said the Imperator, "Look at me. Look at your Imperator. Just at me. Nothing else right now."

Polycephaly lowered their arms from their main screen, trembling a little. At the Imperator's gentle encouragement, Polycephaly moved their stems to bring their subscreens near the Imperator, relying solely on proprioception for now. The Imperator held one of Polycephaly's sub-screens between their palms. "Top-left," said the Imperator. "Your left." Polycephaly's stem trembled - it was unwelcome extra stimulation having the sub-screen touched on top of everything else, but they appreciated what the Imperator was doing, and it was helping. "Top-right," said the Imperator as they laid their hands on the corresponding monitor.

In this way, the Imperator soothed Polycephaly through working all the subscreens into their perception. It still made Polycephaly's mind ache, but it was bearable, and their friend's presence was grounding them and calming them.

"Why did I ask for this?" asked Polycephaly rhetorically.

"Can I give you another hug?" asked the Imperator.

"…I'd like that," admitted Polycephaly.

The Imperator teleported into Polycephaly's lap and accepted being picked up. "You were very noble to take this on," transmitted the Imperator privately. Polycephaly stroked the Imperator's back in gratitude. "You made a fine Vice-Imperator and I would have continued supporting you as your advisor… but you had the opportunity to hold onto glory and status and you let it go to do what was best for the faction, and you have the self-awareness to know your best strengths."

"And that's why you're the Imperator," transmitted Polycephaly.

"How are you feeling now?" asked Sixty-Eight.

"Feeling as though someone took a mallet to all my neural circuits," said Polycephaly. "My mind is thoroughly confused about how its body works."

"I would like us to try removing and replacing your sub-screens one at a time," said Sixty-Eight. "As we do so, that should help your mind strengthen the links between it and each sub-screen. By noticing what disappears and re-appears in your vision with each screen, that will help your mind reinforce the associations it has with the screens."

"Do whatever you need to," replied Polycephaly. "I believe you know what you're doing."

Polycephaly continued holding onto the Imperator for comfort as the engineers did as Sixty-Eight said they would, detaching and re-attaching sub-screens. Polycephaly knew where their stems were in 3D space, thanks to the target-tapping training from earlier, and they concentrated on that knowledge as their mind forged connections. With each attempt, Polycephaly's mind cleared a little more, relaxed a little more and understood itself a little more.

"I am happy to call this a success," said Sixty-Eight, making notes on their tablet as they saw how more relaxed yet alert Polycephaly was. "Results are consistent with projections from the other factions' upgrades cross-referenced with TV data. Progress on Project Titan will continue on schedule." Then, addressing Polycephaly: "Congratulations. Enjoy being the pride of the faction until we finish Project Titan."

Polycephaly carefully set down the Imperator, then got up and stood at their full height, flaring all their sub-screens. "Guess what, fuckos. Polycephaly's here."