Inskora's Skibidi Toilet Zone

Which Skibidi Toilet characters should you eat?

Publication date: 03rd November 2024

Delicious, a delicacy:

• Regular Skibidi Toilets: steam them in their shells, and extract the roe from the cistern for an excellent tangy spread. The organs also make great sausages.
• Regular Camera units: If you boil the head until the casing is soft, you can crack it open and eat the camera within. The lenses will acquire a jelly-like consistency and can be used like aspic. Don't forget to harvest the transmission fluids and coolants from the main body - you can boil this down to a sticky reduction that tastes not unlike barbecue sauce. The best-kept secret? Boil down their coats; they reduce to a membrane that you can use for sausage casings. If you bag a Camera unit carrying a Baba Booey button, look for the detonators nearby - the explosives make a lovely hot peppery sauce.

Decent snacks:

• Regular and large Speaker units: Their bodies are full of nicely chewy wires. Inside the head you can find the speaker-cone. Pull that out and stuff it with wires, then you can fold them over into something like pierogi. Large speakers obviously give you more bang for your buck; their heads contain multiple cones.
• Large Camera units: Their heads and bodies are mostly tough and gamey; an acquired taste. However, you can harvest the film inside the reels on their head and use it like tagliatelle pasta, or like seaweed. Grind up the microphone for a nutmeg-like spice.

Edible if you're desperate:

• Regular TV units: You must remove or drain the teleport circuit before cooking, otherwise it will explode from the heat. Removing it is preferred; if you can harvest the black fog within, you can use it to make a sauce that tastes not unlike hoisin. Thoroughly boil the head to remove the hazardous sharpness from the glass; it should acquire a soft, slightly sticky crunch a bit like sugar candy. Makes an intriguing alternative to seaweed wrap for sushi rolls (try making them with Skibidi roe).

Partially edible:

• Acid tank Skibidi Toilets: Remove the tanks entirely. Don't let any of the contents get onto the meat; it's like trying to make meringue with egg whites contaminated by yolk. Just doesn't work.
• Astro Toilets: Same as Skibidi Toilets but it's so much more effort to break into their shells.

Technically edible:

• Secret Agent: As with any human, the tastiest part is the 'web' of flesh between the thumb and forefinger. It's not worth it, though - eating the Secret Agent is not recommended. His meat is oddly grey-green and oily for a human, and he'll re-appear a week later while you are tormented with memories that shouldn't be in your head.
• Skibidi Kitty: Cat meat is unpleasant tasting. Plus, how could you?

Probably toxic:

• Skibidi parasites: the meat of the 'tongue' appendage causes hallucinations if ingested, with variable side effects. The parasite is safe to eat with the tongue removed, but is tough as old boots.